Here’s a really great idea for a laugh trip, get your high school diary and read through your yesteryear rants and how stupid the issues you write about were. I laughed like crazy when I did that just now!!! I was all about crushes, popularity, self-image, and the like… things that shallow girls think about. Ha! I was one, a really superficial 15- year old. Thank you Jesus you saved me!!!!
On a more serious note...
Looking back at how I was when I first got saved and still dealing with worldliness and a whole bunch of junk, I am stunned at the HUGE transformation in my heart six years later today. It makes me wanna shout, Hallelujah! Thank you Jesus, Lord You’re worthy of all the glory
and all the praise……..”
Oh my, it’s been six years already. How did I do it without Him? I wasted 15 years of my life and now that I am found by God, I am filled with so much gratitude for the way He saved me, ho
w He filled me with the Holy Ghost, how He healed me to the uttermost, how He picked me up and turned me around, how He placed my feet on solid ground…
Oh sweet Jesus! I was searching for you from my youth and my heart was craving for Your presence since I could remember. But I didn’t know where to look, I wasn’t aware You were what I was searching for.
So I turned to my family, and they just trampled on my worth. My friends never really answered my soul’s longing; the laughter, the jokes only served as momentary, fleeting entertainment.
There’s a nagging ache in my heart that demanded for answers, for purpose, for love. Even the thought of a romantic relationship wouldn’t ease the pain. Looking around people, they still had holes in their hearts even if they had a hand to hold.
What is this emptiness that’s never been filled? Religion sure didn’t help. Popularity and many acclaims faded away. The applause and praise of people only lasted for a day or two. What is it then? What will satisfy this desperate heart of mine?
I would do whatever it takes to know what this thirst is- crying out from the depths of my spirit that cannot be quenched by the world. I would give up everything just to know what would really make me complete; I would sell my soul just to have it.
For six beautiful years, You have been just that Lord- everything that my heart desired, even more. There was a quieting of my soul because it need not wrestle and strive in search of that ‘something’ anymore… I have found my all in all. Or should I say, He has found me.
Like a barren land kissed by drops of water for the first time, so did my crusty, deserted heart rejoice in You. You came like the rain and turned this desolate field into a spring. You’ve renewed my troubled youth… wiped away the many tears I’ve shed because of insecurity and rejection and despair.
I was restored as if nothing ever happened. You’ve traded my ashes for beauty. This ugly duckling, hated by her peers and looked down upon by society has blossomed into a breath-taking swan who found her loveliness on the inside and her value up there, in Your eyes.
The years I spent with you were tainted by my disobedience and sin, yet time and again you pursued me. I have chased many lovers, but I keep coming back to You. Like Hosea tireless in his pursuit of that harlot, You were even more unrelenting. How can I not love you, Lord?
In my weakness, you were strong. My shame and my pain and the many complaints I had with my self were all silenced by the beauty of Your holiness. I forget ‘me’ when I am confronted by the knowledge of the Holy. In Your mercy you removed my gaze from myself, to You. What a privilege I have to make much of You and dive into self-forgetfulness.
You have shown me great and mighty things which never before have I seen. You are glorious and beautiful and I’m constantly amazed by how You love, little ole me. Thank you, thank you God!
I could write a million things about You and what You mean to me, but words seem to never suffice, the violent outbursts of my heart cannot be written down; my joy is inexpressible it seems foolish to even try. All I know is that I have found the One my heart loves and I will never let Him go!
You compel me to lay down my life for you, forsaking everything to be one with my Beloved. And I will do it Lord. What an honor to suffer for you, its my pleasure to offer up my life as a living sacrifice for the One who gave His all to me. I will walk the narrow way as long as You hold my hand in the journey. I’d rather tread through the valley of the shadow of death with You, than to have it easy away from You presence. I have burnt the bridges God, see Lord, I have abandoned all and followed You. That 15-year old girl was never the same again coz You ruined her heart, she is too messed up to even live the normal life. Forever I am betrothed to You- lovesick till the very end. I love you Jesus.
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