Living a surrendered life. That's what I have been preoccupied with lately. It's a bloody path-- difficult, lonely, and painful. But was it not Jesus Himself who invited us to a crucified lifestyle such as this? If anyone desires to come after Him, must take up his cross. Truly if our hearts desire to be one with Jesus, then we ought to brace ourselves for the cost of this intimate knowledge of Him.
Our flesh for one needs to be mortified. We cannot have illicit desires and have fellowship with the Holy One, that's pretty understandable. He is light, and in Him there is no darkness at all. We have to steel our hearts to be exposed, wide open for His scrutiny and allow ungodly desires (no matter how valid and legit) to be plucked out if ascension to His holy hill be fulfilled.
I have laid down a lot of things for the love of Christ, but every day I find myself holding back still a multitudinous collection of unyielded rights, loves, possessions, and dreams. So the bleeding goes on. Ever so often I am ripped apart by the Cross, only to be mended by God himself at the end of the day.
But why endure all this hardship, you ask? Because I know choosing Him above all these earthly things, is the best decision an earthly being could ever do. He is far more valuable than whatever it is we deem important. He is infinitely worthy of our utmost worship and affections. And if we die with Him, we shall also live with Him. If we have spent our lives on mutilating our own selfish clinging so that Christ may fully reign, unrivaled, then the benefits are inevitable. As we fellowship in His suffering... we will also rejoice in the resurrection power of His love. That to me, makes every tear shed, every heartache, WORTH IT.
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